Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize