is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
