I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so explain again why im purple
no
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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