so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
