It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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