i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
