Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
