i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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