Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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