i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
