No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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