well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
