Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
