wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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