I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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