When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
