Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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