How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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