Umm I'm too high to move.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
did you just send me my own nude
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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