Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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