The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
