I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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