I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im six kinds of drunk right now
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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