Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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