Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
