Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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