a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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