what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
