Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
