"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i think im in europe. pls send help
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
