just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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