A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
tell me about the fingering
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