I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
