i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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