I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
