She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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