nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
