Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
