therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
