So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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