I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
