its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
