It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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