Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
