She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My vagina is very pro this idea
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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