You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
