bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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