We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Found the puke drawer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
