oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
