Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
