yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize