So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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