did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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