we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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