youre lurking in front of me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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