I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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