i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
