god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
