You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize