$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
