Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize